CHAOS BEFORE PREDICTABILITY

So you’ve gone to Primark and bought some socks. Fine. You couldn’t help it, they had the days of the week on the side. Who could resist? But remember, you could bring reality as we know it tumbling down.

That’s right, you could destroy the world. Is that what you want? Because that’s what you’re heading towards with those socks for this simple reason: if, by some freak accident, you put on a pair of those socks on a non-concurrent day, you will alter time.

Say it’s Tuesday (even though today is Wednesday) and you feel frivolous. You put on a pair of FRIDAY socks. Wow, you’re crazy. Yes, yes you are. Because BAM, you’ve just ruined time. All those people, eating their sandwich and pickle in that café, they’re no longer there. They’re fast-forwarded three days ahead and are now in a meeting. None of them know what they’re doing there and no one knows what to say.

Do you see how awkward that would be? They were meant to have three days to plan for that meeting and you’ve just whisked it away from them due to careless sock choice.

Now, when it comes to odd socks, we’re really looking through the mirror. There is a legend which states there was such a man mad enough to put on a Tuesday sock on his left foot and a Thursday sock on his right. A new trend, he thought. But no, what he in-fact did was create the leap year.

Every step he took pushed time further. Reality couldn’t keep up with what day it should be. Left, right, left, right. In the end it just gave up and totally ruined February.

So remember, the next time you go to buy some new socks, put some thought into it. Unless you’re an evil genius, you probably don’t want to break the fabric of time. Get those ones with Peter Griffin on that you thought were humorous instead. After all, everyone likes to laugh when they see peoples’ feet.