CHAOS BEFORE PREDICTABILITY

As a child back in the dark-ages, my own Gran was forced to have her left hand tied behind her back. By doing so, her school hoped to convert her into a lowly right-handed person, believing left-handedness was some kind of precursor to evil. All I have to say is: Hitler was right handed.

Perhaps this was taken into account, because by the time I reached school I even had my own dedicated lefty scissors. They looked less vicious that the pointy, metal right handed stabbing implements and even has multi-coloured handles. In fact, these left-handed tools were so superior, all the right-handed kids and their devious itchy fingers nicked them.

There’s long since been a debate whether left-handedness represents anything significant. Are they evil or genius? Obviously the views of the right-inclined will sway towards evil. However, let’s look at the facts. Ignoring obvious people such as Hendrix, there’s Nietzsche, Robert De Niro and even my hometown man, H. G. Wells. And again, Hitler – right handed.

Something could be said about ambidextrous people. But then I look at Michael Angelo Batio (guitar shredder) and think it would be better not to. So I’ll leave it at this left-handed is correct handed, right-handed is wrong handed.